Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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