another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
