Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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