alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
