You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
