Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My vagina just clenched in fear
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
