In the future we'll all be gay
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
