I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
