I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize