I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
