Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
