im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
