I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The struggles of a small town man whore
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
