he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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