By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
