i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
