thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
