but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
