I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
