doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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