Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
