I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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