oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
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You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
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I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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