Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
