...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
