Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
