matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
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Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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