Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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