I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
