You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
