paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
