I want to make a zoo with you.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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