were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
