Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm too high and old for this...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
