Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize