last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
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we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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