I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
