am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
