You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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