ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
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while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
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I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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