Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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