She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
