Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
