So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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