This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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