some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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