thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
