she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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