I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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