hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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