i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
