A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
