yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
