Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
