After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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