i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
