After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.