and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
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if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
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Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica