can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again