How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.