That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
