I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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