He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
