thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
